Septembre

time, another number

2011-10-17T07:50:00.000-07:00

24 and still intimidated.
5 years and nowhere near ready.
So, what of the remaining years?

2 am and we're counting down

2011-10-11T11:07:00.000-07:00

It's not fair nor fun to compare.
How far can you cheat before you got caught you fool?
I realized, greed is another amplified need, which not many can quell with just discipline. No, greed is that raw, hardcore emotion that grows bigger if you suppress instead of understanding it.

burps

2011-06-06T03:51:00.000-07:00

I love that the vitagen and choco digestives you get me when I'm sick
And I love how you hand finds mine even when you're deep asleep
And and I love the littlest thing you do just to make my day tolerable

That stupid iguana...

2011-04-25T09:30:00.000-07:00

The day might not had begun well, the truth about your real future had hurt every bones in your pride and the truth about yourself is anything but an achievement.
Funny, how happiness couldn't push you to strive but the raw anger and emotion drives you the extra mile. And at the end of the run, you find yourself all patched up and geared for more. And I couldn't had done it if you haven't been that patient and persistent in pushing me.
I love being the object of your adoration, and the reason behind your smile and that one girl you cook for. I love how you kiss me so bad it leaves me wanting more everytime I stare at your lips. I would love to bruise it once more if it's not already bruise. I also love how you always manage to carve that sliver of smile out of me regardless how horrible the day had been.

It's as if you're the 'undo' button in my life.

Sunday and I'm getting cheesy

2011-04-17T06:38:00.000-07:00

I love it when the pair of hands runs through my skin
I like it when he pulls my head close to his and and strokes my hair
I smile when he wakes and just stare at me
I adore the way his hands wraps around me whenever he's around
I can't get enough of his soft kisses
I get turned on when he drives around with a mean streak
I laugh every time he shove his cheek to my lips for a kiss
And I certainly will never be tired of his goofy grin or pouty lips and and soft gaze.

OMG...

I can't sound any more cheesier can I?

Its a frigging Javachippino afternoon

2011-04-13T21:33:00.000-07:00

When you say you fell in love with me, I still don't believe you. I'm a cynic to the core. But I will indulge you. Because I do want to believe somewhere within.
It's tiring to have a full night sleep dreaming of an restrained thought, and waking earlier than you think you can sleep further. It's even more tired trying to vie for the piece of longing repeatedly without success and the constant arguments you put forth for your alter ego to debate..things get crazy after a while.
It's barely 1pm. I shouldn't shoot my day down before it actually begin should I?

Lids are heavy, Lips are dry

2011-04-13T02:50:00.000-07:00

I love my nights, but the shifting shadows and brush of warmth do wake me with surprise from time and time again
Mundane with a dollop of surprise attacks and trails of kisses. It suddenly is bearable.
24 years and here I am.

From my kitchen...

2011-04-13T02:26:00.000-07:00

Tea eggs
Tuna pasta salad
Chan choy soup
Poached eggs with sauteed mushroom and shredder buffalo wing's sauce chicken on bed of vinaigrette tossed coral greens with a dollop of lumpback caviar.

Loop List

2011-02-10T04:38:00.000-08:00

Songs I never get tired of...

Belaian Jiwa - Innuendo
Kau Ilhamku - ManBai
For the nights I can't remember - Hedley
Over the rainbow - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
Butterfly kisses - Bob Carlisle

B-L-E-A-H

2011-01-27T00:58:00.001-08:00

I dont want to go home. But I feel the need to go home. Bleah

smack lips

2010-11-05T00:34:00.000-07:00

Every girl needs a Louboutin...

They humm, the wind

2010-11-02T10:27:00.000-07:00

Remember when you were 5, the world wasn't such a bad place?
Hmmm.. We aren't 5 now. But I suppose it's okay.

Friable, the beautifool

2010-11-02T10:18:00.000-07:00

I do love flowers.
If they're rooted in the ground.
Even dead ones are hauntingly enchanting

mmhmm...

2010-11-02T10:11:00.000-07:00

We are all in the same fight.
You ought to know its not one lonely trail,
Many parallel walkers are beside.
Your happy ending is your creation.
Start drawing it today
(=

tweet tweet

2010-11-01T08:51:00.000-07:00

Wachaa!

2010-11-01T08:48:00.000-07:00

Die you!
*I win*

stand still!

2010-10-31T02:50:00.000-07:00

Cause I wanna snap you...

I seek asylum in style

2010-10-31T02:47:00.000-07:00

That one day when you lock me up over insanity,
make sure my room is pretty.

Purr?

2010-10-31T02:42:00.000-07:00

Cats should be black, sleek with a hint of chubs.
At least mine was..

Mr. Sparkly adventures

2010-10-31T02:40:00.000-07:00

Jeffrey says...

2010-10-31T02:35:00.000-07:00

My epilogue

2010-07-17T03:38:00.000-07:00

It is a sullen Saturday
Waking at 3 and having toast and milk for tea
Sky overcast with rain clouds
Covered in quilt with The End of Mr Y
Rachael Yamagata over my head telling me the Reason Why
And I walked into the left room
Sorry I'm skyping right now
The right door then
Sorry I'm on the phone
Owh. Sorry.
One door left
Rachael and Mr Y beckons me back to bed
(=

who says the empty passenger seat will stop us for journeying further?

2010-04-07T03:05:00.000-07:00

mirror mirror on the beach, who's the fairest of them all?

2010-04-03T00:40:00.000-07:00

I may see the sunset you missed and you spot that house I overlooked.
So no, we all don't always look the same picture the same way.

(=

2010-03-28T11:58:00.000-07:00

freakish bullish luck

2010-03-10T03:22:00.000-08:00

Tickling my nerve when my back is sore is a big no-no. I dont have rationale or patience left in me when in pain. I know. I am that inconsiderate. I can be such a bitch when I'm most distressed. Lucky you my tact is still intact or I probably have tonnes of hate mails by now.
Cibai motorcyclist. Cut in from right to left without signal and even dare to 'hey' me so goddamn loud. Lucky you dont have a uterus or I would had curettage it out bastard.
And what's with wifi these days? Gotta register this that. Then tell me my pw is invalid.
Stupid coffeebean crew. Talk to me in such a patronising manner. Hello! Im not dumb, just under-informed. Sniggering behind my back. Last I check, my hearing is not impaired. May you step into the days of erectile dysfunction. Idiots.

I know. Again, I can be such a nuisance and intolerable in times when I'm in distress. Imagine me giving birth. I think the nurses need to sound-proof the room. |=

my fix

2010-03-06T02:04:00.000-08:00

Mwahahhahaha! starbucks guys smiled and said bye! XD
Dressed sher's finger. If I ever not made it through medschool, I'll make an excellent nurse I tell you.
I wanna be a rawkstar!

meh

2010-02-28T05:18:00.000-08:00

A thousand words unspoken. A million stares unforgettable. A moment of nostalgia.
Catching the fallen star to where it lands prove to be a task of great complexity.
How is it that tomorrow seems like another year already?

high morbidity

2010-02-25T04:48:00.000-08:00

Today is the day when I bite almost everyone's head off their cervical spine. Roar! Oh the headaches and care in the world. I whine like a bitch sometimes. (=
Why isn't there anyone I can pick up the phone and just dial for a senseless chat without any implication?
Tomorrow is coming. The smile is unbecoming. The goodbye is resented. We live in juvy.

counting down

2009-12-30T10:29:00.000-08:00

I rolled. I squished. I stuffed. But the pack is still huger than I are. |=
Stares at bag's content. Keep on staring. That's it. It just might shrink if I stare long enough..
I wonder if my bags camouflage me, I might not be robbed....

I want!

2009-12-18T04:00:00.000-08:00

I want my DSLR! I want I want I want!!!
I need RM3000 more )=
I want to chop off all the fat off me. Yes, I'm being narcissistic and bimbotic today. Sue me bitch!

demonized

2009-11-16T01:51:00.000-08:00

There wont be numbers today for there are the indefiniteness of thing that could rock my raft in this vastness.

I dont like working with constraints
Nor do I like working with whiners and dramatist.
But this is reality.
I can only bitch and rant before settling back into my role.
I do not like to be slapped nor penalised for swearing.
Words harm but does not kill.
It helps with the venting of anger.
I'm made of patience and virtuosity.
Do not test it.
I can hurl hurricanes and rain a parade in your face.
But I am more collected and wise than you are Poseidon.
I'm flawed, but I intend to reconcile the violence in my heart.

Saving arses

2009-11-12T08:04:00.000-08:00

Impulse spontaneity on shopping is rewarding, even it we dont get anything.
Being forced to be in the room is productive, even if nothing much gets retained.
Salvaging the least is gratifying, even though the die is cast.

If I can rule the world with the flick of my fingers, I'll be utterly amused. Watching puppets dance and prance at the rhythm of my tune, unquestioning. Aren't we the creature of addicts? Addicted to old habits.

I painted the sea

2009-11-08T04:08:00.000-08:00

You hand me that brush in cerulean blue
In strokes like fluid my wrist dance
The nymphs of tomorrow prance on the foams
Collide collide!
I can see clearly the bottom of the ocean,
I search for a mermaid
And the bore of a turtle breaks through my reflection
Its you its you.
It's you

the daily ramblings

2009-10-31T00:05:00.000-07:00

RM10 dresses and skirts1 wtf? How??
Pub-bing is interesting. The many people we encountered centered in one small irish shack. Sometimes it only takes a few pints and bad music to loosen things up. LOL
Im scaling. And lichenification takes place. Bloody hell
Sleeping ramble is the preamble to imsomnia
Cha to by Paul Ling again...but that was yesterday. He, I very scared oh

tomorrow comes, take me away

2009-10-21T21:36:00.000-07:00

I see dead people. Well, I will, next week. *grins*
Ribena brings out the best smile ever. Alongside babi, my babies, my boxes of memorablias back home. Would you believe that I actually stayed up yesterday patching up my baby pillow's case? While I was sewing it Vini sent me her random message of I-miss-you. And I replied saying I'll love her even when she's all tattered and falling apart like my pillow. LOLS! *sorry, it's just the spur of the moment*
Reset mode...... *buzzz*

pitter patter you mad hatter

2009-10-07T19:22:00.000-07:00

The sun was up, then it went down. The clouds came a-rolling, and the rain came down down down.
Market trip! But all the pigs absconded from those pork slayers. Perhaps that's why no babi today lo... )=
I love the smell and sound of rain. Do flood us Mr Sky. *kidding kidding!* I dont love you THAT much....
I think I should, stop, rewind and play.
Dr Wong came into my dream and ask me to go to wards more often. No kidding. And this aft when I went to wards for bedside, first person I saw was DR WONG! Crazy I tell you.. Its like a sign hitting on my forehead *knock knock*

owl city in a parliament

2009-10-04T00:20:00.000-07:00

Lazy lazy Sunday. And all that morning messages, replying them is like a dream itself. God knows what I had replied them. Hopefully nothing obscene.
And what is with the repertoire of faces in my dreams. You over and over and over and over again. I'm gonna fall sick.
Have you ever played musical chair truth or dare where if you lie, your thumb (or any part of your limb) get cut off? Bet you never. I did. In bed at 1030am. *grins* It was quite awesome in a a&m manner at the same time bone-chilling.
I got porridge from Yee! *burps*
And I'm boarding a ship later to Greece. So dont miss me ya all. Tahta.

++ The day has yet to end and already I had concluded it. . . .++

La la la la

2009-09-30T04:52:00.000-07:00

I need to get that distaste out of the mouth. Its distasteful.
I need to annoy people. Its annoying to be stagnant.
I want my baby back....
I wouldnt mind another vacation.

happy trappy

2009-09-24T06:59:00.000-07:00

You know how they say that warts have a certain pattern to eat? Well, I have a live view today when my itchy hand peeled that wart on my index finer. A chunk of flesh came out. I can literally see the fronds attaching itself to my underlying dermis. If I had been really masochistic, I would had tore that chunk of flesh out and there'll be a crater in its place now. But I decided to play with ice instead. Had dad cryo it instead. Giler sakit tau?
I love how the wind blow at my bare nape.
Walking like kids of fool in Lake Garden is yummilicious. An awesome day to pass. Its damn funny when Chuah suddenly look at all our shadow on the grass - a trail of monkeys creeping up onto each another. *grins*

Growing old

2009-09-14T06:36:00.000-07:00

I have pork ribs swimming in the pot. Cuddled with potatoes and carrots. I have pork ribs swimming in the pot. It already make me a happy child. For a minute.
Coffee is a great color. Next to black and green.
Humor is so dullled and blunted these days. Must be the weather

Today today...

2009-09-12T07:52:00.000-07:00

Stalking again. *grins* But only one today. Darndest.
More fries?
WonderWorld. How have you come about this turn?

mccurry

2009-09-09T00:57:00.000-07:00

Frumpy week and the itch and the dryness and the hotness.
Impossible events and the repertoire and the bafflement projected by the lot.
Tiresome environment. Where's that bag of chips?

my one and only

2009-08-24T06:28:00.000-07:00

Another missed morning. This is getting serious. I need to exorcise that pig withing. Damnit! But it was good times watching lame gory horror movies till 4 in the morning. It fills up my Sundays. I should really find new places to hit on my weekends. I think the McD fellas are giving me the stare. I dont mind that Starbucks guys giving me that stare *grins* but that Mcd guy? Scary.
Stuffed to the brim with food and ba chang. I miss ba chang. And I missed my stupid fat cat. Idiot. Had to go roaming squirming about. Great. Now you're really missed.
I am proud to say i DONT miss facebook. mwahahahahahhah!

my sonata

2009-08-18T05:07:00.000-07:00

Nothing matters. It's all in the bask of the sun, where shadows are forgotten and the fallen leaves are wind-blown. All is forgotten.
Sleep and the lack of the quality of sleep and the nervy mind and the sugar rush and the need of a home-made valium. What a clickety day.
Sorry is a word overused. If there's even any sincerity in that apology typed in the munch of oreos and sipping of choco milk while gaze diverting between the slides and the text. I'm just sorry that I have to be typing apologies. Yer....
Dream characters are such beautiful creatures. You cry when you want and turn invisible as you wish and dance with strangers as you please. The only let down is you cant really control the faces that appears innit. Bummer. 7 faces of the same person. How much weirded can it gets? Gimme that flask of grouse!

Though I do miss that silent traipse on the sand and the puddle, hoping you wouldnt notice, and muting myself when you turn to talk to me. Racing against time and distance away from you. It was a beautiful moonlit night in my slumber.

Sundays

2009-08-16T05:40:00.000-07:00

Every Sunday, my day starts at 3pm. Loverly. And almost every Sunday, it's latte and jazz day. I'm brilliant in enjoying the lil luxury of life. And again, every Sunday I misses my pork noodle *sigh*
Which idiot created potato chips? I no like him. Cause its so so so addictive. Bastard
And kudos to them who make my day. With their sakainess, nonsense, emoness and idiocity. The mass of remotion render my emotionless weekend eventful (=

Sunny side up with a man, a chicken and a doughnut

2009-08-13T00:35:00.000-07:00

An honest man doing an honest job. Nothing can make me feel crappier than that. Came back from school bout 11.30, saw him raking the dried grass in the field. Marinated my dinner, munch some Lays and went to bed. Woke at 2.30. Had a drink and saw him still there, with more bags of weed and still there, raking under the hot sun. And all these while I've been in my air-conditioned room like some brat sleeping. Damnit. I was about to get him a class of water. Then I turned to look, he was gone. But at the nearby branches, his clothes were hanging. (= I think he's skinny dipping in the nearby creek. Oh well, its the intention that matters.
Lazy days. Slow days. Hot days. Mundane days. Cant the weather be anymore creative? I'm running out of spots to hide! Coffee bean getting pricey, McD is just too crowded... Sometimes I do wish the weather in M'sia allows for sidewalk cafes with cool ice teh-tarik and the good ol' chinese deep fried doughnuts. Nothing fancy, just me, my book and the rest of the passing faces.
I shall pamper myself today (= Brinjal wrapped basil chicken with a stick of parboiled carrot. And for some fusion, chinese herbal soup!!!! Gym first.

the swamp guy

2009-08-09T21:49:00.000-07:00

Who says G.I Joe was good? Aside the fact Sienna Miller is the foci onscreen. Otherwise, our random spontaneous midnight trip to the moviehouse was in vain. Sorta. At least I was out of the house. Weekends are not meant to spent at home. My dictum.
Sleeping in and hermitting isnt exactly the best things to do. Not especially in JB when you're not on holiday. Lying in bed though awake can be quite tortuous. If it was dark and cold and the rain was pelting the roof, it would be pleasant. But the day was bright, the temperature high and I'm just too awake. But i slept in nonetheless.
Dreams, or nightmares. I think its nighmare. Sister rampaging around bashing up people and getting her friend from the swamp to gauge eyeballs out from those who displeases her. Bestie making my sleep-realm a bitch. By being a bitch. More blood. More slashing. More gore. More anger and dark sinister moments. The chase. The mockery.

And I woke the morning after in my usual detached state, not knowing if I'm awake or I'm still asleep. The blur between REM and consciousness had widened for a while now. So many vivid dreams I perceived as being real. I think I should sleep less and preoccupy myself. This is getting too creepy. I'm not emotionally detached. I'm just subconsciously remote in the revamp of my story. Sometime somewhere, the digress of the daily conumdrum is rather pacifying.

a-tish-oo

2009-08-05T10:18:00.000-07:00

Dinner tables are good for dinner, study and talks.
The uppers are definitely doing their job.
One month and I really wonder why I never walk away sooner. Now the shadows are chasing after the tip of my peterpan feet.
Binge eating and sleep addiction and gym obsession is just another phase of this dynamically allure pace of life

numbing tuesday

2009-08-04T06:17:00.000-07:00

Talks does not constitute all of the years of friendship. It's that secret shared smile, that moments where you stared at a dress from afar and knew its perfect. These lil' things once a year we shared that made me love her even more.
It's those rare mornings where you wake without much desire and strength that keeps you in bed, just for the sake of escapism into another parallel world of dreams. At least you know you can wake and not care of the consequences.
Lies, if it is that detectable, our world would be this ugly corrupt landscape. Lucky for us, somehow, people tends to walk in the shoes of their own lies. (=

bringing home home

2009-08-03T10:06:00.000-07:00

New pieces dont make new you's. They just make a happier you.
Peanuts and chivas and stepfords and most importantly a teevee mate is all i need for some night out to blur the present
Missing is part of healing. No scars, just memories and good times to pave a fresh tomorrow.

one lazy afternoon

2009-07-31T02:41:00.000-07:00

woke up with a sting in the eye and the outstretched hands refuse to lift.

I parked my bum on a chair with talley but its so mobile I cant help from all those distractions

its not all words. its all in the doings really.

sunrise

2009-07-31T02:36:00.000-07:00

The sun will rise, the sun will save me.
The sun will change me, change the way I feel.

The day will make this hard of fortune,
From the fruit of a hundred orchards,
From the water river's break.

The sun will rise, the sun will save me from the night.
The sun will change me, change the way I feel.
I've had enough of the hard and harder,
Times are tough,
I've drifted farther, farther from myself.

I won't dwell, baby, on my failures.
It won't help, baby, it won't bring changes.
I won't run, baby, when all I want is to run.
I won't forget the morning sure to come.

The sun will rise, the sun will save me from the night.
The sun will change me, change the way I feel.
The love I want, the love I need is sure to come,
Is sure to lead me, lead me home again.

The light is low, the night is burning.
My head is still, but my mind is turning, turning round again.
If only I could make it through this lonely night,
If I can do this, if I can drift away.

Then the sun will rise, the sun will save me from the night,
The sun will change me, change the way I feel.